


Blooming

by KyrieFortune



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Deciptions of homophobia, F/F, Mild Angst, No despair!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 16:24:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3296927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyrieFortune/pseuds/KyrieFortune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aoi always thought she was a late bloomer and needed someone to help her understand her feelings.<br/>In a sense, she was right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blooming

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the kink meme AND the Clash of the Writing Titans #5. It took me too much time and I switched style too many times.

**B** oys were cute, right? Not all of them, but some of them were cute. Naegi, for example. He had a cute face, and he was gentle and generous, that’s why Aoi chose him as practice boyfriend: she thought _I’m a late bloomer, but if I get the idea with practice I’ll finally bloom, I’ll finally fall in love_. But since Naegi was just a practice boyfriend, not a real one, she didn’t feel the sparkle when they held hands and kissed for the first time.

«Maybe I’m just unexperienced, if we try again I can get better!» she said.

«Asahina-san, I… don’t think this is gonna work».

«Uh, why?».

«If you don’t really like someone, you can’t feel the kiss, you get me?».

«Mh-mh, that’s why I want to try! When I’ll find the one I will be ready! And you’re a friend, right? I like you anyway!».

«As a friend?».

«Yeah, it’s pretty close, right?».

Naegi’s lowered eyes showed very well how much Aoi screwed it up. She was so sad she didn’t have the courage to talk to him for the whole week, and when she found it, he was awkwardly flirting with Kirigiri. For some odd reason, Aoi felt only a little disappointed, not even heartbroken, but Naegi hadn’t even been a real boyfriend, it was ok if she didn’t feel outraged.

Right?

And Kirigiri-san is a cool girl after all, s _he’s so clever and I bet she knows so much stuff, and she smell like musk or mint, her body is so slim I’d really want to_ -

Aoi shook her head and told herself not to confuse herself even more. She liked boys. _Boys_. B-o-y-s. Not girls. Girls liked boys, not other girls, and if they did they were just confused and full of hormones. And she wasn’t like that, of course, yeah she sometimes felt really close to her female friends, but it was just friendship, right?

Right?

« **H** ey, Asahina-san, do you want come with us?».

Celes approached her a bit after they all finished gym class and were changing. She wasn’t the type to move around, but she had already skipped too many classes and her thin, pale as marble body was barely covered by the shirt and the shorts, she could trace the veins with her tips.

«Where are you going?».

«To get our little revenge on the boys».

«Why? What happened?».

«Uh, how can you not know?!» Enoshima shouted, grabbing her shoulders from behind (it really is not the best way to get yourself into a conversation), «they peeped on us last time we bathed altogether, and now we’ll peep on ‘em!».

«P-peep?». She never saw a naked boy before! Maybe seeing boys like that would clear her mind. No, she didn’t need to clear her mind, it was already clear she liked boys, it was natural. She nodded and said «Yes, I’ll come with you!» enthusiastically.

«Good! I’ll ask the others» Junko said and quickly turned to ask Fukawa, who breathed about she was in only for Byakuya-sama, then she asked Kirigiri. «So, wanna peep on the boys?».

«I’ll pass» the detective answered «It’s a petty revenge and I’m not interested in watching naked people against their will».

«Uh, you party-pooper» the gyaru sighed, she turned around to face Oogami - and ignored her to check on Maizono. Aoi was perplexed and asked, mostly to herself «Why did she ignore Sakura-chan?».

«Oh» Celes whispered «It must be the rumors».

«Rumors?».

«You didn’t know?» Celes inquired «You should probably just ignore them, but… it’s been said someone saw Oogami-san enter a peculiar club».

«Club? Where people dance and drink?».

«Yes, one of those clubs, but this one is… how can I say it? A special only-women club».

«Oh, a club only for women? But she’s still a minor, isn’t she? She can’t drink» Aoi thought out loud «Are they saying she’s drinking illegally?».

Celes giggled, covering her mouth, and answered «You really are clueless, are you». She then smiles, with that creepy smile that always preceded bad news, and said «It was a lesbian club».

And with that, she walked away.

They were joking, right? It couldn’t be possible. They were confused, of course, maybe they didn’t see Sakura-chan, or maybe they did see her but not in a lesbian club. Or could it be real? Then they thought wrong, Sakura wasn’t a lesbian, maybe she - yes, she just worked there! Maybe she was a bouncer, it would make sense, she was perfect for the role and women are more comfortable with other women - not that comfortable, they shouldn’t be so close, it wasn’t ok. Girls liked boys, boys liked girls. After all, that was why she accepted to peep on the boys.

She liked boys, and Sakura-chan liked boys too. Right?

Aoi tried her best to ignore the fact that seeing the boys changing left her indifferent.

**S** he couldn’t sleep, her head was full of frustrated thoughts. _Am I such a late bloomer? I’m already sixteen, why I still don’t like anyone? Maybe I am very, very particular tastes, I’m the type of girl who sees a lot of boys until she finds the one and says that’s him, that’s the one. Yeah, it’s probably like that._

_Or maybe I don’t like boys, after all…_

_No, no, no, that’s wrong, I like boys! I’m a girl, after all, I will find a nice man, marry him and be a good wife._

_But girls are cute..._

_Yeah, of course, but not like boys._

_Yes, they’re cuter than boys…_

_But it’s not like I like them! What if they’re cute? I still like boys! Boys!_

_But then, why I still hadn’t liked one?_

_Late bloomer._

_But my heart thumbs when I see -_

_No, it doesn’t. She’s my best friend, I always felt intense about my friendships!_

_But friends don’t want to kiss their friends, or sleep with them. Remember that girl in the track club during the first year of junior high?_

_I was confused, it happens, they say it’s normal to be confused when you’re a teenager._

_But what about that Okinawan you met with your swimming team during that tournament last year, a little before ending junior high?_

_She confused me, wasn’t it obvious? Even the team thought she was a creep._

_And it’s happening again with Sakura-chan -_

_NO, it’s NOT! I like boys! I’m not confused, I’m not into girls! I KNOW I like boys!_

Aoi punched the pillow in a fit of anger and cried. If only it would be easier to stop those thoughts. She wanted to be like the others girls, girly, with feminility, feminine traits, someone who could attract boys. Because she liked boys.

Right...?

**S** he had to ask Sakura-chan about those rumours. It would be embarassing, but she needed to know if Sakura was… yeah.

«Sakura-chan, I don’t know if… you know what they are saying about you?».

The wrestler didn’t answer immediately. She then said «There are many rumours I’m aware are circulating about me. Which one would you like to discuss?»,

«The one about you being, uhm, lesbian». Saying that was a bit painful, to be fair.

Sakura answered calmly «I am not a lesbian».

«Pfhou, yeah, I thought so! It’s just a nasty rumour, ain’t it? It’s not like you like girls or someth-».

«I am nonetheless attracted by women».

… wait.

«Sakura-chan? You just said you aren’t lesbian!».

«I know, Asahina».

«But lesbians like girls!».

«Yes, lesbians like only girls» she corrected her «However, my sexuality isn’t limited to women».

Did that mean Sakura-chan liked… girls… and boys? How?

«B-but that’s impossible… you can’t like both, right? You must be confused, Sakura-chan». Yeah, she was just confused, just that.

«I do not feel confused about the matter, for I have» she stopped for a moment and flushed «I have already experienced both kinds of love. My confusion has begone for a long time».

… was that even possible? Aoi just mentally recorded the notion that Sakura wasn’t a virgin to both sexes - _how does sex between girls even work anyway_ \- and yet couldn’t fully record that fact that she was perfectly fine with it. How could she… be fine? Girls liked boys… boys liked girls… but some girls liked both? And maybe some boys liked both, then?

«Why did you tell me this, Sakura-chan?».

Oogami lowered her eyes, avoiding Aoi’s for a moment «I trust you, Asahina, that is why I confessed such a thing to you».

She trusted her…

Aoi smiled, finally. Yeah, it didn’t matter who Sakura liked to pass her night with, she still was Sakura-chan, and they were friends, who cared if Sakura really did like girls, Aoi didn’t care. Nothing changed, after all, not for the worst, on the contrary it changed for the better, she now knew Sakura a bit more, probably more than anyone else could say.

But that didn’t change the fact that, unlike Sakura Oogami, Aoi Asahina liked… Aoi Asahina liked boys, and only boys.

That didn’t change.

Right?

**I** t had been quite the time since she last browsed a porn site, at least since that "incident" with the Okinawan girl. Last time she watched a porn video, she felt only vaguely flushed, but she was a girl, it was boys who usually watched that kind of thing. But yeah, she could try.

She clicked on a thumbnail that looked more interesting that the others and watched. There was a brunette with curly hair and small boobs, long vernished nails, smiling at the camera before eagerly sucking the penis of the mysterious cameraman. It was frustrating not knowing the face of the man, she wanted to see it, maybe he was handsome, maybe seeing his face would clear her mind.

_Maybe I’m in the wrong category, she thought, maybe I should check if there’s something more interesting for me -_

_Is that a “lesbian” category?_

She had some doubts about how sex between two women worked since Sakura said that - that she fancied both sexes. It was just doubts, it was ok to clear them, of course, a lesbian video wouldn’t turn her lesbian, she’d still like boys.

Cautiously, she opened one of the featured videos. This time, it was a girl with short black hair and another with long hair that seemed like gold, kissing and lifting their dresses to touch their asses and their breasts. Then the blonde one completely lifted the other’s dress, leaving her in underpants and bra, and licked her boobs, and then kissed a bit below, and then kissed her stomach, and while she kissed her stomach she lowered her panties, and then -

Aoi stopped the video when she realized the moans didn’t came from the headphones, and that the thing pressing against her vulva was her own hand. No, it wasn’t possible, was it? She wasn’t really getting horny on lesbian porn. Her mind wasn’t messed, she didn’t like girls, she didn’t want to have sex with girls! She liked… boys. She. Liked. Boys. Then why…?

_It must be what Sakura-chan told me. She confused me, yeah, she didn’t do that on purpose, but it ended up confusing me anyway! It’s just that! I mean, I like boys… right? I’m not like that girl back then, am I? The team was right, she was a creep, it’s not like it was me who asked her to kiss me, she was the one holding me, I didn’t hold her, or felt her body, so soft and warm, she kissed me, with those luscious lips that tasted like vanilla and coconut balm -_

_Stop it stop it stop it I don’t like girls I don’t like girls I like boys I like boys I’m not a creep I like  boys_

She murmured those words like a mantra, convincing herself that it was the truth, while her eyes streamed tears, trying not to spy the video still paused on the moment the blonde girl was about to kiss that part. She had to get some chamomile and calm herself before closing the browser and pretending she never saw that video.

And the next morning she had to pretend her dreams weren’t full of long hair white as snow, tanned skin like an ancient war goddess, eyes the colour of the horizon over a cold, wild sea and dark lips pressing on hers with the heat of a thousand suns. She didn’t dream that. She dreamt boys. Because she liked boys.

Right?

**S** tanding beside Sakura became awkward. Knowing that her best friend could potentially be interested in her was bizarre, but she felt that Sakura appreciated the fact that she still was by her side after trusting her. For some reason, Sakura’s bisexuality (Aoi had had to check on Wikipedia) hadn’t been so shocking for her.

Yet, she couldn’t help but ponder over what was happening within herself. It was stupid to deny the fact that she had dreamt about Sakura doing _things_ to her, but all in all it was but a dream. It didn’t mean anything, she had been just influenced by the events of the last day, especially that video.

It meant nothing, really.

She definitely wasn’t stealthily ogling at her tall, muscular body, in clothes that seemed too tight and defined every curve or outright didn’t cover her properly, like her thick legs under the skirt, too short to hide her strong muscles and barely her ass. Surely, there was no way Aoi was feeling that sensation of melting in her stomach when she saw Sakura’s small and warm smile, her clear eyes ajar and carefully following the words on a book - what was she reading, was she studying or simply relaxing - and that feeling of melting wasn’t absolutely not running in her abdomen, in forbidden places, when she gazed Sakura’s perfect, firm bosom.

She had to almost slap herself and began to torment a lock of hair right behind her ear to stop thinking about Sakura in such a lewd way. Her swimming team’s words rumbled in her mind, about how ugly and creep were some girls out to twist other girls in so much wrong ways, harassing, groping. She wasn’t like that, she shouldn’t have thought of Sakura, dreamt about Sakura, she shouldn’t have watched that video. She shouldn’t have done a lot of things, because in reality she liked - she liked -

Who did she like? Not even her was able to tell anymore. She wasn’t able to tell what was right.

**S** he knew the rumours weren’t only about Sakura anymore. She had noticed people looked at her disgusted, whispering. She had already felt that way, more than once, treated as if she were gross, a danger.

But she wasn’t, she knew she wasn’t, yet everyone kept on badmouthing her, just like Celes badmouthed Sakura a few days before with that gossip. It felt heavy on her chest, she was sorry that she didn’t trust Sakura, but she still couldn’t understand _why her_.

_Why me what did I do wrong_

_I’ve always did my best in everything I could I’m a decent daughter I have lots of friends_

_Why me_

_Why do I have to be so confused why do they hate me so much because they think I like girls_

_I don’t_

_Why should I_

_I love my friends but I would never_

_What if I think they’re hot and cute they are it’s ok if I think so it doesn’t mean anything_

_It doesn’t mean jack shit_

_I’m not revolting I’m not an error I’m not_

_Nobody should care if I watch Sakura-chan she’s my friend and I_

_I_

«Asahina, my girl, what’s wrong?».

Her low voice was like the sea rumbling and storming, like in those doramas where the man ran under the rain calling his woman’s name, and then they confessed their love and kissed. Aoi bursted in tears in front of the whole school and hugged tight Sakura, afraid that she might lose her, that her giant friend could disappear. She sobbed, unable to express anything, her mind in a complete chaos that contradicted itself, and they still talked.

«What the fuck is happening?!».

«Is this a candid camera?».

«Is Asahina-san gay too?».

«I knew it, they’ve always been too close...».

«Oh c’mon, they’re just friends! And what if she’s lost someone?».

«Yeah, remember that time you lost your cat and started to cry its name at me?».

«So, do they or not?».

«Who cares if they do or not, seriously guys».

«I don’t want a dyke to stare at me!».

«Perverts...».

«Don’t you think you’re going too far? She’s crying so much...».

She then heard everything muffled and when she opened her eyes the first thing she saw were Sakura’s, or at least that’s what she thought she saw beyond all the tears. Her callous hands held gently her head and she looked so so sad.

She’s been so stupid to keep on denying everthing, it was as clear as Sakura’s eyes and she kept on telling herself lies upon lies, as the others kept telling all those horrible things. Who could blame her, after all.

«I’m sorry, Sakura-chan...».

«There’s no need to be sorry, Asahina».

«N-no, I wasn’t… honest… and you’ve been so honest to me...».

Sakura’s face turned into an expression of puzzlement, but she kept on cradling Aoi gently. The swimmer continued between sighs and sobs «Y-you told me that thing about you and you trusted me and-d I didn’t tell y-you anything… I’m s-scared...».

By the way Sakura’s eyes opened, it seemed she understood what she tried to say, despite all the wimpers. Aoi felt Sakura’s hardened thumbs over her cheeks, wiping the tears, and then she left a tiny, almost unheard (almost) kiss on her forehead.

«Let them talk».

«S-Sakura-chan, I can’t let them...».

«They will talk no matter what, and they will hurt whether their gossip is true or not». Their eyes met, and Aoi felt her whole body heating and flushing. Sakura continued «I’m aware ignoring those insults is hard, Asahina, I’ve been living with them for years,  but you have to be strong. You have to ignore those who hurt you by words or means and learn to hear those who support you».

«But no one supports me, or understands me… I’ve heard so much stuff, I want to throw up...».

«I understand that. The time I -» Sakura gulped and she seemed again so sad, so much sad she could cry «The time I confessed my sins to my parents, I was afraid they would disown me».

«Sins?».

«I admit that privately I am absolutely not a role model, and I was sure they would loathe me… and they did. They still don't approve my ways, nowadays, my father mostly».

_why are you telling me this do you want me to admit it please sakura-chan_

«But they nonetheless accepted me. They understood that I am more than their daughter, and more than I unveiled, not just some...». She stopped and inhaled.

«Sakura-chan...».

«They will always judge, but  you have to learn to ignore the torment and listen to your friends. That is my only real advice to you».

Sakura was so melanchonic, Aoi wanted to hug her tight and never let her go, kiss her cheeks and her nose and her lips and

_No you can’t -_

_Did you even HEAR her_

Gosh, she felt so pathetic. She wanted to say something, but the only thing she said was «Sorry I stained your jacket». Sakura just smiled and shook her head and said «Don’t mind, Asahina, they will go away. Now, take a deep breath and let us go to class».

Aoi did exactly that.

_Maybe it’s really ok if I don’t like boys. I have Sakura-chan with me, to protect me. Maybe it’s going to be alright._

**T** hat night, she lay on her bed staring at the ceiling. She had just thought the most impossible thing, and the moment she did the huge weight she didn’t realize she had, lifted away from her chest.

She liked girls. She always did.

She was taught that being one and liking them was at best strange and at worst disgusting.

But she still liked them.

She couldn’t deny some boys were really cute, but she admitted to herself she never really liked them. Not in a sexual or sensual way, maybe not even romantic. She didn’t like boys.

She liked girls.

And more than everyone, she liked Sakura. Oh gosh, she loved Sakura, who was she kidding! It was terribly awkward realizing she had the hugest crush since whenever for her best friend, and what a best friend; thinking about her smile and her eyes turned her into a pudding of squeeing cute noises and all Aoi wanted was to feel her naked skin on hers and

_For damn sake, I can’t already be thinking this stuff, calm down_

She breathed and held the pillow tight, and had to bite it when the thoughts surfaced back in her mind. It still was wrong, wasn’t it? She had admitted she was a creep, after all, in a sense everyone was right about her. But Sakura moved her heart in a way no one else did, and she wasn’t wrong! Then why should she herself be? It wasn’t right.

She wasn’t wrong.

Or was she, after all? She maybe would have to settle down like everybody else. Maybe she would really find the right man, marry him, bear his children. Maybe even Sakura would find the right man for her, and they would stay friends…

After the hype, soon the sadness followed, and she softly sobbed. Her vision blurred and then became clear again when she blinked and warm tears wetted the bed.

She had to tell her, somehow, Sakura trusted her and she should trust Sakura as well, and the others too. She was not ready to tell everyone (she barely had the courage to tell that to herself), but she had to start somewhere.

**S** he confessed her secret to Sakura the morning after, but apparently Kuwata overheard them and told the claassmates that Sakura Oogami and Aoi Asahina were 100% totally together, even though Aoi only said she lked her. Everything then went into utter chaos in their class, between some of the girls and the boys shouting about how the fact the two were banging each other (which wasn’t true anyway) was either filthy or disrupting whatever order, and the other girls and boys saying that is either was perfectly fine or that it wasn’t their business. The teachers had to take Ishimaru to the infirmary when Mondo broke his nose after the zillionth «I CANNOT ACCEPT TWO GIRLS HAVING AN AFFAIR IN SCHOOL», to which he replied «THEY AREN’T FUCKING IN SCHOOL, IT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS». Hopefully, none of the teachers could explain why they quarreled and nobody outside the class knew about Sakura and Aoi.

The following three weeks or so have been totally absurd, since so many people suddenly knew about her and, it seemed impossible but it was true, some of them were ok with it. The day Mukuro came to her desk and quietly said «I don’t understand how you feel, but you should know that my impression of you didn’t change and I hope nothing changes between us» and then came back to her place blushing awkwardly, became one of Aoi’s most favourite days. Then it was Naegi who said «Hey, you shouldn’t feel bad! It’s normal, after all. Don’t let yourself down, ok?», and Aoi felt even better. And then Kirigiri came and asserted «I suspected you had a preference for girls, but this shouldn’t affect anything or anybody. I don’t really care whether you are homosexual or not». It wasn’t a thrilling dialogue, but Kirigiri’s intentions were understood anyway. Then it was Chihiro and Mondo, bringing a reluctant Ishimaru.

«Asahina-san, I really admired your courage... I hope the best for the two of you!».

«Hey ‘Hina, if anyone shits on you and your gf, gimme me a call and I’ll punch them!».

«Bro, it still is against the school’s rules!».

«Bro, there’s no school rule against being gay, so shut up».

«P-please, don’t fight...».

And then Leon approached her and said «So, about that thing... I got angry ‘cause it’s a shame a girl like you doesn’t want boys, but it was stupid… so yeah, sorry, wish ya best luck». And then Sayaka came and just said «We’ll still be friends! Just don’t stare at me like Kuwata-kun does...».

All in all, it wasn’t that bad. Of course, not everyone was alright with having two “weirdos” in class: Enoshima and Celes started to make nasty remarks everytime they could, especially Enoshima when she was surrounded by the freshmen that could as well have created a cult based on her figure, and Fukawa became more aggressive verbally, mumbling about how disgusting those filthy dykes were. Aoi felt awful whenever she heard those things, but that time she wasn’t alone, she didn’t have to endure all by herself with lies.

She felt she finally found her place, between Sakura’s arms, and -

Three weeks after confessing, they kissed.

A slow, delicate kiss that made Aoi feel light _she tastes like cherry and cinnamon_ , although it happened in one of the stall in the girls’ bathroom _I want to hold her forever like this_ and it wasn’t exactly the best kiss she experienced _this is the best kiss I ever had_

And there was another, and another one, and none of them could tell the reason why their relationship changed into something really physical.

« **I** s it gonna hurt?».

It had been two months. Aoi believed they had been the best two months of her life, and there she was, staring at the ceiling in her chaotic room full of trinkets and posters, her legs barren and her arms clutched on her naked chest. She had felt a similar feeling of tightened guts many times in her life, but it was never so discomfortable yet pleasant yet completely inadequate. She wondered if Sakura, down there on her knees and attempting to win Aoi’s stiff resistance to stay only in her underwear, was feeling the same kind of weirdness.

«Why do you think it will hurt?».

«W-well, you know what they say, when a girl loses her virginity, her he-man breaks and she bleeds».

«You meant to say hymen?».

«Yes, that thing there, whatever it’s called».

Aoi’s shorts finally came off and were carefully folded together with the other clothes. Sakura answered «It’s not uncommon, but it depends on the moment and the hymen itself: if you’re nervous, it’s more likely sex will be less comfortable».

«Did, uhm, your first time hurt?».

«Quite a lot, in fact, but in my case it was mostly a problem of build». Her cheeks reddened and _damn she’s cute when she gets all nervous_ «My entrance was... more tight and difficult to win than most women’s, apparently».

«Oh God, that’s too much info!» Aoi giggled and took a deep breath. «Ah, I’m so nervous now...».

«I shouldn’t have told you so much».

«It’s fine! But it won’t hurt a lot for me, right?».

«I’ll do all I can to give you a delightful experience, Asahina».

Aoi nodded and inhaled deeply to relax herself, still feeling gawky. She shivered at the touch of Sakura’s cool fingertips on her inner thigh, stiffening even more, and a strange sense of wetness began to crawl. Sakura’s other hand reached the arms, still covering her generous chest, and Aoi whimpered as Sakura uncovered it and kissed it, and her crawling wetness became harder not to notice.

«S-Sakura-chan?».

The swimmer spyed and saw the wrestler’s clear eyes darting on her body, feasting almost, and it was the hottest thing she had seen - no, Sakura’s mouth was all over her chest, actually feasting with lust on her nakes chest, licking and sucking her nipples, _that_ was the hottest thing she  had seen -

_fuck this feels GOOD_

Her legs began to tremble for completely different reasons, her voice started to get a bit louder and lewder. She let out a small scream when she felt Sakura’s teeth biting just a tad over her right nipple, leaving a reddish mark on her skin. Aoi did her best to keep focused, but then some part of Sakura’s body (was it her thigh? Or maybe one of her hands?) pressed and ground against her barely covered genitals, making her shiver and moan. It was all so new, all so dirty, and the one responsible instead looked so stern just minutes ago and now was squeezing her tits and making her squirm and it was so ridiculous _don’t stop please i want more please sakura i want you so so much_

Instinctively, she spread her legs, letting Sakura rub harder on whatever was causing those small waves of pleasure. It still felt somehow wrong and confusing but oh, it felt wonderful and she wanted to feel it more and more.

When the other girl stopped, Aoi gasped and grunted in frustration, and she could swear she heard Sakura giggling softly. The wrestler’s callous thumb run over Aoi’s cheeks and whispered in amusement «I’d never thought you would be so vocal, my girl».

«D-does this annoy you?». Aoi was glad she could actually be vocal in that moment, without her mother nor her brother at home, it was a bit satisfying.

«Oh no, not at all». Aoi kind of got overwhelmed, seeing her friend’s round and huge breast, with small scars and some stretch marks but still so perfect, that Aoi wanted to - _what was the word_ \- fondle hard.

Sakura then held the edge of her panties and Aoi’s heart raced. «May I?».

_oh god she’s really doing it oh god oh god_

«Yeah». Aoi clenched the sheets as the other exposed her genitals.

_oh god she’s seeing THAT_

Her panties flew somewhere in the room.

Immediately, Sakura’s thumb brushed over something that made Aoi mewl, _this is so embarassing god_ , and then she brushed again, pressing, running a bit over her dark pubic hair, _oh no i forgot to take care of it i hope she doesn't mind it_ , pressing again, then her middle finger pressed over her entrance and Aoi felt a weight over her stomach.

Sakura stopped for a moment. «Am I making you uncomfortable?» she asked. Aoi sighed a «No, continue» and closed her eyes, bit her lips when a phalanx stretched its way in, while the thumb kept on rubbing that weird spot just above her vagina.

_this feels so good, dont stop please_

She didn't know what to do, could she hold Sakura's hand, could she move around, or speak, she really wanted to say things, naughty things, but did Sakura like them? She only curled  her toes and tried her best to stay in place as Sakura's finger slid inside with slow thrustes and something small and hard (was it really ok?) growing under the other's thumb.

And then Sakura's head lowered and Aoi managed to see her mouth open, before she closed her eyes and let out a brief shriek at the touch of her tongue.

And another cry when she licked, and licked, and thrusted her finger, and sucked.

Aoi's mind was now a mess of dirty thoughts and frantic monosyllables, unable to express a  coherent sentence between a moaned yes, a held fuck and a sighed more, biting her knuckles to keep her mouth occupied from shouting too much - what if someone came back home and heard her - her skin was getting sticky, no, her whole body was getting sticky _did she just twirl her tongue OH GOD_

«Please, ah!». Not ever she knew what she exactly wanted with that ”please”, but then her vagina spread when Sakura put another finger inside her and thought _oh yes i need more of,_ that was exactly what she needed. Her legs shook and she lost control over her voice and her wild thoughts, just wanting everything from Sakura, of Sakura, stopping caring someone could hear her and come in.

_i want you so much don’t stop i love you sakura i love you harder fuck fuck me please sakura_

And then, for a couple moments, or maybe a couple couple moments, Aoi screamed her lover's name and there was a blank void where her conscious thought should have been, replaced with bliss. When she came back fully to her senses, she felt drained but still ecstatic, she even grunted when Sakura lifted her head and slid her fingers out. Aoi noticed her face turned redder and something pale was sticking out of a corner of her lips. Sakura quickly brushed it away with a thumb; it took quite the seconds for Aoi to realize that white weird thing came out of her genitalia.

She hid her face and snorted «Oh god, Sakura-chan, it's gross!».

«I believe it's too late to think that it's gross, Asahina» she answered, and was she talking a bit less formal? It was really cute...

«Uhm, Sakura...».

«Yes, my girl?».

«Thank you».

Sakura seemed startled, then she smiled, she never smiled this gently and widely, it was wonderful, like shiny honey. Aoi hid her face in Sakura’s bust and hugged her as tight as she could, and while the sense of dirt lingered in her mind, she felt fulfilled and nice and somehow right. She never felt so right, and to think she only needed to stay in a girl’s arms…

Sakura-chan was the cutest girl she had ever know.

« **W** ho are you texting with, hm?».

«N-no one, mum».

«Oh, come on, don’t be shy, tell me! Who’s the lucky one?».

«Mum!». Aoi’s face turned red and she hid her phone.

«Hey, you’re hiding something?». Her mother tried to peep while Aoi did her best to not let her see anything. «It’s private, mum, cmon!».

«How private, hm?».

«Mum! It’s just a friend, you happy?».

Her mum sighed and asked «Is that Oogami-san again?».

«Y-yeah, you know she helps me with homework».

«Uhm, can I ask you a thing about her?».

_Oh no she knows doesnt she_

«Uhm, yeah, ask away».

«Why does she look like that? I mean, I know she’s your friend, but she looks scary like that!».

«It’s her training, she is the Ultimate Wrestler, after all! And mum, have you seen my shoulders?».

«Yeah, but she looks off, like she’s not really a girl».

«She is! She’s more of a girl than me, to be honest».

Her mother sighed again. «What do you mean by that?».

«She might have huge muscles, but she can be really delicate», she thought of how she hugged her, making her feel protected, «and she’s very clever and loves to read books, you know, the kind of books that makes you think a lot», she remembered that time when at Sakura’s home she saw her read some novel about Buddha, legs crossed, sitting on the tatami and curling her toes and lips, she observed her reading intensely and how she was beautiful, «and she drinks tea like a true woman and is so full of interestes», for example when Sakura tried to teach her how to knit, but Aoi couldn’t get past the first steps but they had so much fun that day!, «and she’s a wonderful friend, you can totally trust her with any secret and she always has something good to tell you -».

«I get it, I get it, she’s some perfect human being with no flaws!». Her mother laughed and continued «You sound like you have a crush for her, honestly».

«What?!».

«Uhm, well, you’re not like that, of course, but she gave me that vibe of being a… bit of a dyke?».

«MUM!».

«Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine if she really is, but you have to admit she looks like she is».

«Just because she looks weird to you?».

«No, yeah, wait - Forget I said anything, hun» her mother sighed. «You seem so shifty these days, and I thought she has something to do with it, since you and her are so close».

«Uhm… ‘mom, don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong, really». Aoi panicked, but tried her best to not look like she was constantly thinking _oh no she known oh no she knows_ , until her mother sighed again and walked out of the room.

Her mother wasn’t really that bad, she was like a grown-up version of Aoi, a bit calmer perhaps, but she always had so many expectations for her, from the swimming championships and medals to her future husbands and kids. Mh, maybe that is why Aoi used to be obsessed with the idea of liking boys? Well, that and the fact she always heard bad things about lesbians from everyone she knew; the first one to ever say something positive had been Sakura, she had always been so kind to her and never judged her, she even helped her understand her feelings and her body. If Sakura hadn’t been there, Aoi wouldn’t have know where to hit her head and how to accept herself.

But her mum? She was the kind of person who would think “I’m okay with people being gay, but my children cannot be like that”. But she didn't want to disappont her… maybe i can do both? stay with sakura and pretend to stay with a boy and make her happy? or should I just tell her the truth, but what if she kicks me out of home, i dont want that

She sighed and hid in her room, unsure about what to do, and the only certainty she had was Sakura, she could always rely on her in the time of need.

« **M** um? Hey, can Sakura come today too? Y’know, next week we have exams».

«O-oh, yeah, sure».

«You alright, mum?».

«What? Oh, yeah, it’s just that I’m - out of rice, yes, gotta buy it, love ya».

With that, her mother closed the call. Aoi looked at the phone perplexed for a moment, then smiled and told Sakura «She said it’s okay!».

Sakura nodded and held her hand, whispering «This time we should study for real, though».

«Yeah, of course! Sorry for yesterday, I got carried away...».

«I got carried away as well, it was both our fault». She smiled awkwardly and added «I hope nobody heard us».

«You worry too much, Asahina».

«I told you to call me Aoi! It’s too weird to still hear you call me like that».

Aoi was loud and constantly fidgeting Sakura’s hands, on the bus stop and on the bus itself, and she knew she looked foolish and weird, but she had finally learnt not to mind. The feeling of being judged still lingered, but just having Sakura, knowing she could call her anytime she needed, made her feel more safe. Sakura was her save haven in a sea of insecurities and judgment, and she felt that if she had Sakura with her when her mother would have found out (or she would have told her on her own), everything would have been fine.

The problem was, she didn’t take in account many possibilities, like Sakura having her own insecurities and issues.

Or her mother calling Sakura’s mother.

«Hello, Sakura!».

«M-mom? What are doing here?».

«Oh, nothing, your girlfriend’s mother called me for a tea, lovely woman! A bit anxious, if anything, and terribly ignorant because of you, unfortunately».

_please let it be just a bad dream. please._

Both stood, frozen in bewilderment, in front of their mothers, one calmly sipping her cup of tea and dunking biscuits, the other just looking into the drink with sad and disappointed eyes.

«Oogami-san. Hun. Please, take a sit».

They gulped and sat down.

«Hun, I want you to be frank».

Aoi did her best not to tremble, or cry, or both.

«Hun… are you really homosexual?».

Aoi held Sakura’s hand so tight, her knuckles turned white, just like her face became paler, and found only the courage necessary to nod, while her whole body seemed to turn into a tight, acid knot.

«Why didn’t you tell me? Why did I hear this from Yuuta?».

«I...» she breathed in, biting her lips, and doing her best not to burst into stressful tears «I was scared...».

«Scared of what, being kicked out of your house?» Sakura’s mother snickered «Tootie knows I would have given you a bed and a warm dinner and a fuck you letter to send to Chie here - may I call you Chie?».

«No, Oogami-san».

«Come on, you may call me Kimiko, if you prefer».

«I said no».

«Fiiiine». Kimiko sipped her tea with a smirk.

«A-anyway». Chie took a deep breath and said. «Listen, hun, I understand it’s hard to admit you’re gay -».

«No, you don’t understand».

_sakura-chan?_

«Excuse me, Oogami-san?».

Sakura’s mother smirked and buzzed «Oh boy, here we go». Sakura had kept herself silent and her head tilted down, until that moment; she now was facing, proud and confident (or looking like she was), Aoi’s mother, Chie.

«I said that you don’t understand how your daughter felt all this time». Aoi’s hand was losing sensitivity, for how hard Sakura was keeping it tight under the table. «You don’t know how hard it is to be surrounded by people who don’t want to see who you are, who mistreat you and insult you if you only _look_ different, let alone _be_ different».

«Oogami-san, I’m divorced, with two kids, I know how it feels like to be judged».

«Have you felt wrong for this?».

«Of course I thought many times I could be doing the wrong thing!».

«No, I asked if you felt wrong, not if you felt like you were wrong. Because Asahina...».

are you really doing this for me, sakura-chan?

«… because Aoi had felt wrong, broken, for a long time, and because of you as well».

«Don’t you dare telling me this, she’s my daughter!».

«But you did nothing to help her understand herself, didn’t you? You were just like everybody else, judging and pressing her to be like you want».

«It’s not true -».

«You want her to be happy, I know, but you never stopped and thought upon how she wants to be happy. Didn't you?».

«I, no you're wrong, I -» she babbled, as if she was unable to coherently excuse herself under the weight of Sakura's sharp eyes. In the end she covered her face, let out a ginormous sigh and uttered «Can - can I talk to my daughter, just the tbwo of us?».

«You seem pretty able to speak, Chie, but your grammar sure sucks».

«Just get out, Oogami-san, both of you».

«Fiiiine». Kimiko stood up, taking another biscuit, and tapped on her daughter's shoulder. «Come on, tootie» she said «Aoi-chan and Chie need some bonding time!».

«I said not to call me Chie!».

Kimiko ignored her and stole another cookie before heading out of the room.

Sakura gave another grasp to Aoi's hand and a small reassuring smile, then she followed her mother and left Aoi on her own.

She could hear her heart racing painfully in her chest.

«Is that true, hun?». Her mother's voice sounded heavy and yet it trembled.

«Mum, sorry I wasn't honest with you.. ».

«Just tell me, please, Aoi... did I scare you? In any way?».

«I don’t… really know. Everyone said girls like me are creepy».

«Did I say that too, sometimes?».

«Yeah. It… it hurt».

«Oh, dear, I’m so sorry...». Chie closed her eyes, a tear slowly rolled down her cheek. «I don’t really think those things, hun, I don’t think you’re a creep».

«You said Sakura was a dyke».

«You thought I meant that of you too?!».

«Y-yeah».

«Oh. No wonder you were scared».

Aoi really didn’t know why she wasn’t crying, although she felt the need to do so. Maybe she wanted to show to her mother she was stronger than she thought. Or maybe it was the relief than it wasn’t going as bad as she feared.

«Are you disappointed, mum?».

«No. Well, yeah, a bit maybe, I’m not sure you can have kids now. I’m worried, mostly, I don’t want you to get hurt or heartbroken, you don’t know if Oogami-san will always be there for you and you can eventually find someone nice».

«I… know, mum».

She never dared to think about that possibility, of course, it was horrible to think the only person that managed to make her feel like she actually belonged to this world could leave her for someone else.

«I don’t want you to make my same mistakes, or to suffer like I did, that is all».

«I know, mum. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, really».

«No, no, hun, forgive me, I really didn’t help you». Chie opened her arms and said «C’mere, sweetie, it’s all fine».

Aoi hugged her mother and sobbed. «C-can I stay with Sakura-chan?» she asked.

«Of course, I’ll explain Yuuta. He doesn’t really understand, you know».

«Mum, he’s thirteen already, I think he knows already».

«Yeah, yeah. You grow up so quickly...».

_It’s not as hard as i thought, i’m so sorry i had to lie to you mum, yuuta, so so sorry_

She ended up crying everything she had inside in Sakura’s arms anyway.

«Oh gosh, I’m a horrible person -».

«No, you’re not».

«I lied to everyone and even myself -».

«I wasn’t your fault».

«I lied to you -».

«You didn’t».

«I’m horrible!».

«Asahina - Aoi, don’t beat yourself down like this».

She sniffed her running nose. «S-sorry, Sakura-chan».

«Stop saying you’re sorry, you shouldn’t be». Sakura gave her a tissue and snuggled her hair and red, wet cheeks. «Do you feel better now?».

«Y-yeah, a bit, thanks».

She clumped the tissue into a ball and thought of everything that had happened: convincing herself she was merely a late bloomer, crying everytime the idea of being different arose, talking to Sakura like a friend, kissing her, spending afternoon after afternoon with her, dating and making love, confessing to her mother. It was weird, to think about it, weirder than it seemed, and way too complicated.

«Hey Sakura».

«Mh?».

«What you think will happen next?».

Sakura’s face turned serious «I have no clue, I’m afraid».

«What - what if you l-leave me?».

«Why are you asking that?».

«Y-you know, next year we’ll go to university, and we might lose each other...».

«Don’t say that, we can call each other, and I don’t think I will go outside Tokyo anyway».

«Yeah, you’re right».

She kissed her, still with watery eyes, and murmured «I love you, Sakura».

«I love you too, Aoi».

«I like how you say my name, you know?».

Sakura giggled a bit and said «Thank you dear. Now, calm yourself, we need to study, remember?».

«Oh yeah, right».

Aoi stood up and adjusted her clothes, cleaning again her nose. She was so glad she had her by her side, maybe she wouldn’t haveto worry about anything for a long, long time.

«Hey, uhm, Sakura? Can I ask you about that rumour?».

«What rumour?».

«W-well, Celes told me that you were in a lesbian bar. It’s a long time ago, but -».

«What club?». She seemed to remember after a couple seconds «Oh, that club. Mom brought me there to meet her friends, she didn’t want to go alone».

«Your mother?».

«I know, it’s weird, but no, I wasn’t there to date anyone».

«Oh, I thought… you know what, nevermind, I’m happy this misunderstanding happened».

«Why?».

«If Celes-san didn’t tell me that rumour, I would have never asked you if you were lesbian».

_to think it was some shitty gossip that brought me here!_

_i’m so glad i have met you, sakura-chan_

_now i know everything will be fine._


End file.
